Candles, an ancient technology that has contained fire since time immemorial so that we may safely fill our dwellings with light and warmth, have been recalled by the United States Consumer Product Safety Commission (USCPSC) as fire hazards.
To be clear, this is not an applicable warning for all candle technology as a whole, but over the past month, the (USCPSC) recalled both Dollar Tree’s Sure Scents 2-1 Peaceful Stream/Moonlit Waves Candles and Kohl’s three-wick SONOMA candle. Under “hazard,” both read:
The candles’ high flames can ignite the surface of the wax or cause the glass to break, posing fire and burn hazards.
Wax can ignite, you ask? According to Britishcandles.org, yes: as a result of molten wax laced with additives, such as fragrances and “contaminants in the wax pool.”
Fortunately, this news gives me the opportunity to broadcast a PSA that I’ve been burning to share with Gizmodo readers: scented candles are gross. Everyone should throw every candle in their household in a trash compactor. To be clear, I am not talking about vigil candles or holy candles. I’m talking about Jolly Rancher, bug spray odor bombs which Big Candle has shoved down our throats to satiate unfulfilled desire for romance. That a small number of said candles may pose an active risk to health and property only fills me with more certainty that I have been right all along to distrust these melting stink cylinders.
If you choose to roll the dice and plant self-destructing incendiary abominations around the house, in more ways than one, I cannot save you from yourself.